My tank is full

Time for another edition of random thoughts that need purged, there is too much shit floating around in my brain.
As I've mentioned before, I have a very hard time staying off the comment section of any website, blog, Facebook post, etc. If there is a comment section I scroll through it. I continue to be amazed at the level of complete and utter fucktardedness that exists in those sections. I mean, I seriously wonder how some of these people function on a daily basis because they are so fucking stupid. About 1/3 of the people commenting haven't read the article they are commenting on, merely the headline, roughly 1/3 makes a decent contribution to the conversation and the other 1/3 are the ill informed radicals who have no fucking clue what they are talking about, but spew their shit anyway.
I read a lot of agriculture related blogs and news stories, because A. I grew up on a farm. B. I still live on a farm. C. I was a 4-H and FFA member, and my children now are, too. D. I live in Iowa. The idiots  that comment on these types of blogs are second only in their rabid insanity to those who comment on the autism vs. vaccine articles. The ones that truly rile me the most are the ones who constantly say, "rich farmers", "greedy farmers" or "farmers only care about their profits."
Listen here you hairy arm pitted, Prius driving twatwaffle...while you're praying at the altar of Steve Jobs, typing on your I-Pad, listening to Adele (who by the way makes $50,000 A DAY in royalties alone) and drinking your Venti mocha latte with soy milk, remember it was a rich, greedy farmer who grew those soybeans. Look up the definition of hypocrite while I serve you a shutthefuckupcake.

Gwyneth Paltrow, could you "consciously uncouple" your head from your ass?

There are now, what 13 different countries who have had satellites spot debris that was assumed to be wrecking of flight 370, but when search crews got there, there was nothing. What the hell are these satellites seeing?

All of you freaks on Pinterest who are obsessed with Loki, Dr. Who, Harry Potter and The Disney Princesses need to move out of mommy's basement and have your fucking heads examined. You take crazy fandom to a whole new level.

Dear lady on the swap site, how in the fuck do you "accidentally buy 8 packages of Poise Towelettes"? I've accidentally bought the wrong sized shoe, or accidentally bought a shitty bottle of wine, but never have I accidentally bought EIGHT PACKAGES OF SOMETHING! How do you not notice after say the second package, that perhaps you've bought too many? P.S. Since you've had them on the site since last November, I'm going to go out on a limb and guess NO ONE WANTS THEM!

I think, perhaps, the only question more awkward than asking a woman who is not pregnant, "When are you due?" Would be, "Honey, what are your thoughts on threesomes?"

I do not understand the comeback of Pabst Blue Ribbon...I get that hipsters think its great, but I remember when the grandstand at the Iowa State Fair served ONLY PBR in a glass...There is truly nothing more foul tasting than a PBR served piss warm out of a keg.

And finally dear Barnyard Critters, "Oh we will FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT for Iowa State!"

Hello Barnyard critters

it's been a while hasn't it? I haven't been inspired to say much other than the quick tidbits I post on my page now and again...sorry! That happens! If I have a lot to say, you may find I will blog several times a week..If I don't have much to say, blogs may be few and far between. Okay, fine you got me, I ALWAYS have something to say, which is why I have my Facebook page. There are just times I don't have much to BLOG about. And, if I try to force it, the blog becomes not fun...kind of like a fart..if you force it, it might be shit.
SOO, as some of you may, or may not know, I have started working out. Hysterical, right? I know...I'm attempting to get into shape. A shape that is something other than round or oval, on my best day. I tracked down a guy I went to high school with who is now a successful personal trainer, and signed up. Nothing will depress a girl and make her want to dive headfirst into an entire cheesecake more than getting weighed and measured and then having those numbers put into a computer program to tell you your fat versus muscle ratio. (Horrifying does not begin to adequately describe that.) Anywho..I strapped on my gym shoes and away we went.
I shit you not when I tell you it took me four and a half days to get over the pain of day one. I shit you not when I tell you I honestly thought of pissing myself because getting up and down from the toilet brought tears to my eyes. BUT I continued on and am learning.

I have learned that when you hire someone to help you get in shape, you figure out how truly OUT of shape you really are. I have aches and pains in areas I did not know could ache or pain.
I have learned that the heating pad is your best friend.
I have also learned you should not put Ben-Gay on an achy muscle and then apply the heating pad. (Or get into a hot bath.) I'm surprised my bathroom door doesn't look something like this.

I have learned that having a buddy to commiserate the work out with, makes life much easier.

I have learned that mountain climbers are really just a nice name for Satan's March, which is what they are.

I have learned that jump squats ain't fucking happening.

I have also learned that it will get easier, as things are starting to hurt less and less.

I have also learned that those who love to "feel the burn" are fucking nuts and should be happy that Obamacare has mandated that you have mental health care coverage, because, bitch, you need your head examined.

Perhaps, though I am the one who needs my head examined because today, I actually thanked my torturer, I mean trainer...after all I am PAYING him to do this to me...

THIS!

Congratulations to whomever post this picture! You win the internet today! I agree wholeheartedly with this statement and have often said, "What happens when that child gets a job? Are they going to quit every time a boss says something mean to them or expects more out of them?" Or, "Are mommy and daddy going to call the boss and bitch at him when Junior gets written up at work?"
GET OVER IT!!!
I'll let you in on a little secret...life's a bitch. It's not easy. It's not rainbows and kittens and sunshine farts. You will have mean bosses. You will have bad days. You will not get everything handed to you on a silver platter with a six figure paycheck. You will have to get dirty. You will have to miss out on dates and dances and special occasions if work happens to call. You will pray for days your children are sick so you don't have to go to work. It's all part of being a grown-up.
SO, ya know what? Stay out for every damned extra curricular event you can be involved in and enjoy every second of it. Embrace the suck that is a tough coach, because you know what? YOU HAVE 18 YEARS OF CHILDHOOD...THAT'S IT. After that, its all of the above and then some.
I understand having to buy your own $150 jeans (mind you when I was your age they were $50...inflation is a bitch too) because mom says, "Hell no, buy them yourself." But, in the same instant...are $150 jeans really worth giving up parts of your childhood that you will never again get to do? You have the rest of your life to work..unless you happen to find yourself a sugar daddy or get adopted by a ridiculously wealthy Sultan...Enjoy being a kid, learn to appreciate that hard ass coach, because someday, he could be your boss.