Hello Barnyard critters

it's been a while hasn't it? I haven't been inspired to say much other than the quick tidbits I post on my page now and again...sorry! That happens! If I have a lot to say, you may find I will blog several times a week..If I don't have much to say, blogs may be few and far between. Okay, fine you got me, I ALWAYS have something to say, which is why I have my Facebook page. There are just times I don't have much to BLOG about. And, if I try to force it, the blog becomes not fun...kind of like a fart..if you force it, it might be shit.
SOO, as some of you may, or may not know, I have started working out. Hysterical, right? I know...I'm attempting to get into shape. A shape that is something other than round or oval, on my best day. I tracked down a guy I went to high school with who is now a successful personal trainer, and signed up. Nothing will depress a girl and make her want to dive headfirst into an entire cheesecake more than getting weighed and measured and then having those numbers put into a computer program to tell you your fat versus muscle ratio. (Horrifying does not begin to adequately describe that.) Anywho..I strapped on my gym shoes and away we went.
I shit you not when I tell you it took me four and a half days to get over the pain of day one. I shit you not when I tell you I honestly thought of pissing myself because getting up and down from the toilet brought tears to my eyes. BUT I continued on and am learning.

I have learned that when you hire someone to help you get in shape, you figure out how truly OUT of shape you really are. I have aches and pains in areas I did not know could ache or pain.
I have learned that the heating pad is your best friend.
I have also learned you should not put Ben-Gay on an achy muscle and then apply the heating pad. (Or get into a hot bath.) I'm surprised my bathroom door doesn't look something like this.

I have learned that having a buddy to commiserate the work out with, makes life much easier.

I have learned that mountain climbers are really just a nice name for Satan's March, which is what they are.

I have learned that jump squats ain't fucking happening.

I have also learned that it will get easier, as things are starting to hurt less and less.

I have also learned that those who love to "feel the burn" are fucking nuts and should be happy that Obamacare has mandated that you have mental health care coverage, because, bitch, you need your head examined.

Perhaps, though I am the one who needs my head examined because today, I actually thanked my torturer, I mean trainer...after all I am PAYING him to do this to me...