It is the
morning after the midterm elections and I am again saying a prayer for the
future of this great country. I can already hear the outrage brewing out of
some of you, but stay with me here, for I am not talking about the results of
the gubernatorial, congressional, state or local elections. I am talking about
a vote in Berkley, Calif. that has really frosted my Cheerios.
Voters in
Berkley approved a tax on soda, or pop as we like to call it ‘round these
parts. That’s right kids, Berkley has passed the nations first soda tax, and
it’s a doozy! Shoppers in the city will now pay a 1-cent per ounce tax on sugar-sweetened
beverages and the sweeteners used to flavor drinks. Now, I understand that
sugary beverages like pop are filled with empty calories and obesity rates are
climbing. HOWEVER, I see some problems with this law. Those problems are: diet
soda, milk, 100% juice, baby formula, alcoholic drinks taken for medical
reasons (wait…what the fuck are those and how do I get a prescription) and sugary drinks
and sweeteners distributed to very small retailers are exempt AND the bill does
not dictate where the money is spent.
So, to
break it down…regular Pepsi, sweetened with sugar is taxed, Diet Pepsi
sweetened with artificial chemicals is not? Juicy Juice, which is only 10% real
juice is taxed in Wal-Mart, but not at the very small, corner grocery store
down the street. Hmm…that makes perfect sense, right? Wrong…laws like this are
why we can’t have nice things.
If you want
to start taxing “junk food” like you tax cigarettes because of the increased
costs associated with healthcare issues related to obesity, by all means, go
for it. HOWEVER, you should be required to spell out that the tax is going
towards specific spending, like health, nutrition, physical education and
active recreation programs in schools, the Department of Public Health and parks
departments. It should also be across the board. The only exemptions should be
unflavored milk, 100% juice and unsweetened beverages period. Any beverage with
any kind of sweetener, sugar, corn based or chemical, should not have an
exemption. This law is like the healthy school lunch initiative…a good idea in
theory that was carried out completely wrong.
But the
exemptions and the tax itself aren’t the biggest problem I see. The biggest
problem I have with laws like this is the fact that governing bodies are
telling us what we can and cannot drink via a tax. I can somewhat understand
cigarette taxes (second hand smoke), but I have yet to see the individual harmed
by second hand Pepsi guzzling.
To the people of Berkley who voted YES to this poorly worded law, you give me douchebumps. You along with the millions of twatwaffles who have to watch a video tutorial to figure out how to make a messy bun are the reason we've not found a cure for cancer.
P.S. Thank God No Shave November is finally here...
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