..people who are not professionals, should not proceed as though they are. We all have gifts and are good at certain things, that doesn't mean we are on par with those who have training and experience. While it's impressive that you own every episode of Law and Order on DVD, took a few paralegal courses at the community college and can google code references like no other, I will not pay you a $5,000 retainer for your advice, I will go with the guy who went to law school and passed the bar exam and has practiced law in several states. (Insert ANY profession in this example and it rings true.)
..if Jesus wanted us all to have small asses, lettuce would taste like chocolate and wine would be calorie free.
..if 50 Shades of Grey, Magic Mike, or that late night porn movie your hubby rented on pay per view while you were away on your girls weekend, has seriously damaged your marriage--your marriage was already seriously damaged.
..we need to go ahead and stop using TMZ, UsWeekly, ET!Online and the like as serious news outlets. I understand that in the grand scheme of things, whether or not Bruce Jenner is a shemale, means little compared to the ongoing crisis in Syria. However, it would be nice if MSN et al, could quit using the phrase, "unnamed sources close to the family told TMZ," expecting us to believe that shit.
..we should just retire the word shocking. When everything is described as "shocking" nothing really is.
..when you link your Twitter feed to your Facebook page, it makes you look like you have Tourette's. Could you at least throw a FUCK, TWAT, PUSSY or ASSCLOWN in there somewhere for good measure?
..before graduating from high school a child should be required to learn how to do the following things: fry an egg, sew on a button, start the washer/dryer, change a tire, balance a check book and change the toilet paper roll.
..writing for Cards Against Humanity would be a dream job.
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