Let's start with the twatcake from England who is attempting to collect on the kid who skipped her precious snowflake's birthday party...(for those of you not familiar with the story, here's the Cliff Notes version.)
Little Jimmy invited Little Johnny to his birthday party at the local ski center. (Here's my first problem..what the fuck is wrong with cake and free play in the backyard? That's another topic for another day.) Johnny's parents sent the RSVP back marked yes, but then later remembered they had a prior family commitment. Leaving the decision in Johnny's hands, Johnny chose to attend the family event and miss his friend's birthday party. Johnny's parents couldn't find the phone number for Jimmy's mom to let them know that he would not attend the party and did what most families do, just skipped the party.
A few weeks later Little Jimmy's mom had a school employee slip a note in Johnny's backpack. It was a bill for $24. Apparently the ski center charged Jimmy's mom $24 per kid and since Johnny didn't show, twatcake, I mean Mommy, figured Johnny's parents should have to cough up the money. (I swear I'm not making this shit up.)
When Johnny's parents did what any sane person would do and laughed profusely before saying, "Fuck no, I'm not paying this you delusional asshat." Jimmy's mom threatened them with small claims court.
Way to go twatcake...with this little stunt, you have now made it blatantly clear that NO ONE will ever attend ANY of your precious snowflake's birthday parties ever again.
If you can't afford to have a party that costs $24 per child, DON'T THROW A PARTY THAT COSTS $24 PER CHILD!
If you are trying to teach these "cretins" a lesson in manners or honoring commitments, just stop.... life happens, shit happens, parties are skipped, plans change ALL THE TIME! YOU are not special.
Now that I am warmed up..lets talk about the kangaroo court proceedings that occurred yesterday, here in our backyard (aka Cass County.)
What did we learn from the Leatha Slauson sentencing Barnyard critters? We learned that in the state of Iowa you can: pretend your child has cancer, going so far as to shave her head, shove a feeding tube in her nose, force feed her cancer meds and cannabis oil (obtained illegally) and then fuck the kind and caring public out of thousands of dollars and a trip to Disney World and get FIVE YEARS PROBATION for the little trick.
Yes, Captain Picard...I am dead serious. The skankass cuntbucket is roaming free among us, free to try this little scam again, because she's done it not once, but twice, and gotten away with it. (But, but, her kids were taken away from her!!) Doesn't matter, this piece of shit is just 30 years old...how long do you think it would take her to find another low life, piece of shit to knock her up and she could put on this little shit show again in another unassuming community?
She claims that she's no longer hearing voices or seeing shadow figures since she's been on medication and getting psychiatric help...correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe seeing and hearing shit are two classic symptoms of schizophrenia....so pray tell me Judge Kilnoski, why in the FUCK is this woman not, in the very least, in a padded room? Why in the FUCK is she not locked up somewhere? Oh, that's right, because our prisons are full of adults who consciously choose to dabble in drugs. That's a much BIGGER problem than abusing your child and bilking the public out of thousands of dollars..I mean it makes more sense to lock up the guy caught with a little dope than it does to put this "poor woman" in jail. Fucking PUH-LEAZE.
There is something seriously wrong with this country if getting caught growing a plant that is legally consumed in a handful of states, either medicinally or recreationally, can lead to the complete liquidation of your assets and a five year federal prison sentence, but doing what Slauson did gets you probation.
I could go on for HOURS about this....it is beyond disgusting to me.
Now...this doesn't fit into this discussion anywhere, but I am deciding to end todays trip through the Barnyard on a positive note..I made the best motherfucking soup in the world the other night, and I'd like to share the recipe with you. It is a Blondie original and it's fanfuckingtastic. It's not diet friendly, but its delicious and filling and feel good food, so just try it.
Motherfucking Amazing Corn Chowder
1 pound bacon
1 pound pork and bacon sausage (Farmland makes it, its in a tube (10 for $10 at Food Pride right now...you can sub other sausage, but this is sausage that tastes like bacon and bacon makes everything better.)
1 stick butter
1 bunch green onions (or white, or red, whatever onions you have, I like green, just for color)
1/2 cup flour
1 quart half and half (plus some more milk)
1 bag diced hash browns (not the frozen ones, the ones you find in the refrigerator section..yes you can peel, dice and cook your own potatoes, but I'm lazy like that.)
1 can whole kernel corn (if you have frozen corn, that's fine, use it. If you have homegrown, cut off the cob frozen corn, by all means use it. If you're one of those people that makes soup year round and you have fresh corn on the cob, you can use that as well. Personally, I only make soup in the winter and at our house corn on the cob is a meal in and of itself and there are no left overs.)
1 can creamed corn
Salt and Pepper to taste
Fry the bacon, drain, crumble and set aside. (I dice it up with my kitchen shears before cooking it.) In the same skillet (cuz again, lazy like that) brown and crumble your sausage. Drain and set aside, with the bacon. In a large stock pot or Dutch oven, melt your stick of butter, add your diced onion and sauté until it's translucent. (See through, for those of you who don't like big words.) Add your flour...you're making a roux here...cook your roux for a few minutes. (No need for it to get brown, you just want to let the flour taste cook off, because your Motherfucking Amazing Corn Chowder may taste like Motherfucking wall paper paste if you don't let the roux cook for a minute or two.) To your roux, slowly add your half and half, whisking the entire time. Bring the mixture to a boil. It will thicken as it cooks. Once its come to a boil, reduce your heat to simmering. Add your potatoes and corn. (If you're using canned corn, there is no need to drain, as the liquid will add more flavor and thin down your soup at the same time.) Simmer for about 10 minutes, until potatoes and corn are heated through. Stir in your bacon and sausage. You may add more milk at anytime until the chowder is the consistency you like. Finish with a generous sprinkling of black pepper. You may add salt, if you wish. The bacon, corn and sausage give the soup plenty of salt, but a dash or two extra, can certainly be added.
Serve the soup with a crusty bread or some biscuits and love the motherfucking soup, we do.
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