Letter time

It's time for a round of "Dear John" letters...I liken them to Jimmy Fallon's Thank You Notes...hang on to your hats kids...here we go.
Dear Ryan Gosling, Please stick to acting in sappy ass chick flicks and stop writing letters about agricultural practices which you know jack shit about. I would hazard a guess that the only thing you know about livestock and or agriculture is what your PETA friends spoon-feed you.
Dear body of mine, Yes I realize getting healthy is a lifestyle change. I realize it's going to take massive amounts of changing in certain areas of my life. (Cheddar Crisps, we may have to break up--just warning you.) SO, if we could be a little less Kim Jong Un when it comes to changing and adapting to new things and a little more like a "peace loving, lets try something new and different hippie" I think we could have some decent results.
(Speaking of Kim Jung Un) Dear REST OF THE WORLD LEADERS, Can we just go ahead and drop a bomb on this guy's ass? Where is Seal Team 6? Worthless, propaganda spewing, piece of shit is too nice of a description...
Dear MTV, (I know I have already face booked this, but it still chaps my ass) PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, stop making reality shows and go back to playing music. Janelle Evans, Shain Gandee, Amber Portwood, Ryan Dunn...dead, prison and rehab...Would they have made the decisions they made and had these things happen to them without television cameras? Perhaps. But why do we continuously need to glorify their bad behavior? How many more examples do we need?
Dear Lifetime, While I am a huge Johnny and June fan...we've been there, done that. There was a little oscar winning movie called "Walk the Line" that told their story. We don't need a different movie with Jewel playing June....
Dear college kids lambasting the fact that the food pantry available to you is empty, I try not to judge, really, I do, but when both of your arms have full sleeve tattoos and you have multiple face and body piercings, visible to the camera, perhaps you could buy some rice or some beans or some tuna, instead of getting more ink...I'm just sayin'....
Dear beloved DH, I realize we are adding to our income and we now have a growing "enterprise", however, we have 15 acres, could we have selected a different place to put the 50+ big round hay bales and the two enormous plies of random food stuffs? Le sigh...one positive note, less mowing because the grass is covered...(And the family wonders why we can't have nice things)