Just shut the

front door already...you're letting the cold air in...you thought I was going to drop on F-bomb there, didn't ya? Don't worry Grasshopper, that will come in due time.
Well, since no one else has bothered to say it today, it's really fucking cold outside. Like, stupid cold outside. But you know what? This too shall pass...in six short months we will be bitching to high heaven about how fucking hot and humid it is, just you wait! In the mean time, here's a few things that we can go ahead and STOP doing during this cold snap we're having.
1) Stop bitching about living in Iowa. You want to move to Florida, then go. What's holding you up? I get really sick of reading, "I hate Iowa," or "I hate this fucking place." I don't think anyone is forcing you to stay here (unless you're a teenager and in that case, you can STFU and move elsewhere when you graduate). The same is true when a political discussion occurs. The state pharmaceutical board does not change the classification for marijuana, cue the "I hate this fucking state" comments...well you know what? Leave then. Go to Colorado or Oregon, or wherever the fuck you want to go and find something to bitch about there, because I guarantee you won't be satisfied there either. But I digress...
2) Stop the "Back when I was a kid they didn't let school out because of the cold" bullshit. A lot of things have changed since I was a kid and guess what? They aren't done changing! I remember in 1995 classes at IOWA STATE were cancelled due to the extreme cold...guess what fucktard...that was 20 years ago and that was a college canceling for cold weather, not an elementary school, so you can bet your sweet ass elementary and high school classes were cancelled too.
While we are on this topic..."back in the day" parents actually took the time and initiative to PARENT. They made damned sure their kids were wearing a coat and hat when they walked out the door.  Some parents these days don't even bother to look in their child's direction or haul their happy ass out of bed in the morning to make sure their child has what they need to have a successful day at school and a safe trip there and back. Back in the day parents made sure their kids OWNED a coat and hat and mittens. Some parents nowadays skip buying a winter coat because they'd rather buy a carton of Pall Malls or the latest video game to play on the gaming console they bought instead of paying the rent. Parents now a days are also "sue happy." Back in the day if a bus broke down and it took 20 minutes for another bus to come and pick the kids up, it would be no big deal because A. the kids would be plenty warm bundled up in their snow pants, coats, hat, mittens and scarf and B. because shit happens. Today, if that happened to Precious Snowflake, she would be on her cell phone calling mommy the second the bus died. Mommy would have a lawyer hired by the end of the day and Precious Snowflake would receive years of intense therapy for the pain and suffering endured.
Back when I was a kid we went to school from Labor Day to Memorial Day. We had maybe 2 teacher in services all year long. Shit has changed. Shit will continue to change. Maybe the way it was done "back then" wasn't the smartest way to do it? Yes, we all survived and are probably stronger for it, but you know what? I found it ridiculous to have to get out of bed, go outside and go to work today, I have no problem with my kids not having school today because of the temperature.
3) You can go ahead and stop acting like this has never happened before and will never happen again. It's winter, it's Iowa. Chances are it will get this temperature again in a few weeks. Buy a fucking stocking hat. Stock up on toilet paper. Put a blanket in your car and make sure your car is full of gas and your cell phone is fully charged. And if the snow starts flying or the roads start getting shitty, don't drive like a douchebag. Slow the fuck down, turn your headlights on and pull your head out of your ass. Really, it's not too much to ask.