Knotty asshairs...

Sorry, you're getting a two-fer today...evidently my ass hairs are all knotted up!
I wonder why everyone has to be either liberal or conservative, right or left, red or blue....I am most definitely a healthy shade of purple and am completely fine with it. I am NOT completely fine with those who scream labels at me because I think one way or another.
I wonder how many of the people against same sex marriage secretly have stashes of porn heavily laden with girl-on-girl scenes...Why don't we keep the government out of our bedrooms?
I wonder how many of the psychos who committed mass shootings played Madden2012 on their PS3's and X-boxes? I have the "violent" video games in my home and a son who plays them. Hell, I bought them for him. We also bought him a shotgun...we also taught him the difference between right and wrong. We have taught him what reality is. We have been his parents, not his friends. We also make sure he doesn't stay in his room for hours on end playing violent video games or playing anything else for that matter. Random room checks and confiscations have also been known to happen...it's called being a parent. Why don't we all try that once?
There are far too many "squeaky wheels" that are attempting to speak for the rest of us these days. I think there are a TON of people who are somewhere in the middle on a lot of "issues" these days, we just don't want to scream out our opinion OR only part of our opinion will be listened to and we will be thrown into a labeled group.

If I were to say, I don't know where I stand on the two cases that include gay marriage rights that were put before the supreme court this week, I suspect a large majority would deem me homophobic...when that is not the case. I believe in equality. I believe that, yes, those protesting gay marriage will look very similar to those who protested civil rights cases in the 60's. I believe that its no ones business who or what I choose to share my life with, as long as my choice isn't hurting anyone else. But, I also think that in the two cases referenced, there is no right or wrong answer to how to deal with Prop 8 without trampling states rights. When it comes to the other case, I agree that the defendant should be afforded federal benefits and I think our tax code needs fixed, quite frankly, inheritance taxes are ridiculous. If gay marriages were recognized federally and in every state, the sun would still rise tomorrow.
If I were to say I don't support sweeping gun control, I would automatically be called a gun toting-right wing-fox news watching-heartless neanderthal who didn't feel a drop of emotion ofter Sandy Hook. That couldn't be father from the truth..I just don't think ANY of the gun control measures currently proposed will do a damned thing to prevent another school tragedy or mass shooting. Until we can figure out how to "fix" those who are so obviously broken, Sandy Hooks and Virginia Techs will continue to happen.
Just because I don't change my Facebook profile picture to support or defend your cause does not mean I don't support or defend the cause. It doesn't mean I don't care or are ambivalent.  It means I don't use Facebook to make a political statement. I use FB to post pictures of my kids, bitch about random things and creep on old high school and college classmates (yes Chrystal Hanrahan, this means you).

Common sense no longer common

It really irritates me that we have come to the point in civilization that we need to legislate common sense. I realize, to some extent, we always have, but it seems that lately it's been getting to the goddamned ridiculous point.
The trigger in this little rant are the new regulations from the IAHSSA banning two a day football practices and stating practices can be no longer than three hours...Now, I realize this is not LAW per se, but I am assuming it will be enforced as such. I am also assuming the "law" is due to one of two things A) Some ass hat coach didn't use common sense and went ahead with a four hour practice when it was 100 degrees out and someone died OR B) some asshat parent whined because little junior was working too hard, sweating too much and puked at practice and that's just not fair.
As the parent of a high school football player, we have always said we don't want a coach shooting rainbows and kittens up our kid's ass. We would rather go back to the day where the coach had a stick and when the whistle blew if your ass wasn't up and off the line by the time the stick swung, you got hit by said stick...because, and I have family members who will tell you...you didn't get hit by the stick more than once...
In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with two a day practices and there is nothing wrong with three hour practices, if you use common sense when having them. If it's 100 degrees out, lets have practice at 6 a.m. and stop by 8 a.m. Common sense. If it's going to be 70 degrees today and you got your ass handed to you in last week's game, we're going to have an extra long practice today and the players should be expecting it...common sense. But the problem is, common sense is lacking in a few, so the "powers that be"decide that NO ONE has common sense and instill rules.
They claim the reason behind the rule change is "player safety." Ok, fine, player safety it is. Medical research and reports have been read and this is the best thing to do for the kids. Alright, I get it, but are basketball (both boys and girls) baseball, softball, wrestling, golf, tennis, track and every other sport going to be limited to a three hour practice and two a days eliminated there, too? I doubt it. It will just take another form...morning shoot arounds and running will become "team meetings" with players "voluntarily" participating. Which is fine with me, because if it's not an "official" practice, then anyone can run it and I know several dads who would love to oversee a few work outs.
While this has put a burr up my ass, I think that coaches will find away to work around it; much like school districts find a way to work around the LAW (not regulation or recommendation, but LAW) that says school can't start before Sept. 1. (We start on what, Aug. 14 this year?)
The IAHSSA says, "A practice cannot exceed three (3) hours in length. Warm-up, stretching, speed and agility rules, strength training, and cool down are all considered part of a practice.  Optional weight training activities that are available to all students are not considered part of the practice." 
I foresee new stretching, speed and agility "centers" now opening and available to ALL students, popping up at schools across the state.
If my ass is this scratchy over just a high school football rule change, don't even ask me about REAL laws and court cases and how the government needs to back off of social issues and start looking at oh, I don't know, the economy and spending and the budget and debt and the military and the farm bill instead of worrying about who's sleeping with whom..... I could go on for days about things like that...

Ok Bev, you have our attention

We have always joked that we have a house ghost. Her name is Bev. She used to live in our house. She died of a brain aneurism, in the house. Well, technically, the ambulance came and took her to the hospital, but...I would bet dollars to donuts it was a formality. Anyway...sweet little lady, used to be a librarian, had a penchant for wall paper (it was everywhere...seven layers thick in some places) and her kitchen was covered in country blue hearts and geese.
Well, evidently she is tired of us joking about her.
As anyone who lives in an older house can attest to; older homes make noises. Creaks, pops, etc. Well, Dan swears the creaks are more than that and that he hears footsteps. He even accuses Drew of being up all hours of the night because he hears him walking around. Drew swears he is innocent. I'm on the fence. I think half the time, it really is Drew and he just doesn't want his dad realizing he's up. We've always just brushed aside the footsteps thing and kept the Bev joke rolling. Ice gets stuck in the ice maker on the refrigerator door, it begins to melt and flies out, we say it's Bev. You can't find your favorite sweatpants anywhere, you blame Bev. (It's actually Jaci getting over zealous on her laundry duties and putting your sweatpants in Dan's drawer and his underwear in yours.)
We now have occurrences that we can legitimately blame on Bev. (That is unless one of you can explain what the fuck is occurring...)
Saturday morning we wake up with no hot water...this is not paranormal, it's just fucking annoying as any plumbing or electrical problem that occurs, happens on a weekend or a holiday...never on a Tuesday at 10 a.m. Known for his handyman prowess, D doesn't even venture into the basement, he simply calls the plumber. The plumber arrives (after the mass, "Oh, fuck...can we even GET to the hot water heater-What kind of shit storm junk pile is laying in front of it?-cleaning frenzy"). The plumber checks everything out and cannot figure out why we don't have hot water. Everything is testing fine. So, he tells Drew and I (Dan and Jaci are not home) that he is going to shut the water off and take the hot water heater apart. About 10 minutes later, we hear water running. I think it must be John draining the hot water heater. Drew goes to investigate...the bathtub is running-both faucets turned on full power. I think, "Well, maybe John is messing with it." I told Drew to go ask/find John. He is in the basement, hasn't even entered the bathroom AND still has the water shut of.....tell me how that shit works?
Last night, I was working, Dan and Jaci aren't home, Drew is home alone. He calls me and tells me that his phone (which has the qwerty-slide out keyboard) was lying beside him on the couch with the slide open. All of the sudden the slide shuts and the phone powers off. When he turns it back on there is a text message. It says nothing but is dated Tuesday, Jan. 1, 1980. He saved it and showed it to me...Riddle me that shit Batman....Riddle me that shit...
Okay Bev, you have our attention; I will read more books and I will pay the fine from that book I never returned in 1998....

Well, hello new little button

Yes, I have discovered the "add photo" button that is on my blog, so I am going to continue to add photos...who knows what button I will discover next? (I really am pretty technologically inept-I am not ashamed to admit it...show me how to do it and I can figure it out---give me a manual and say, "go" and I say, "fuck you, I will stick with what I know."
Anywho...this is how I am feeling this week...

Why you may ask? Simple...I have grown up responsibilities. I have two offspring who continue to want to be fed, three times (at a minimum) everyday. I have two jobs and I feel massive amounts of guilt/fear if I were to just blow either of them off (a trait that seems to be disappearing from society). But, that doesn't mean that I don't want to pout and bitch and moan about responsibility, on occasion. Why am I inclined to do so today? Kid Rock...I have(had) the opportunity to see him in concert Friday night...alas, I have to work. And alas...this is also happening in my life

Thus, my affair with Kid Rock will not happen....well, that's probably no the only reason it won't be happening...but that's my story...So, if anyone needs me, I will be in my fort, with my crayons and my sippy cup...(translation, I will be working)...

Seriously What the Hell?

This has been my week....
It's one of those, "If I could live in my sweat pants/yoga pants this week and get away with it-I would" type of weeks, so I decided to improve my eating habits, routine, etc.
I planned ahead because, as the healthy/annoying people will say, "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail" or some shit like that. I had my fruits, my vegetables, my lean proteins..I had my pre-packaged small servings and my designated four small meals (to bring with me to work). I had my two gallon jug of water, I was prepared. I had planned.
I did not, however, plan on it being "Free Food For Friends" week at the office. It started Tuesday and culminated yesterday...Tuesday, the landlady brings homemade Danish puff...it is one of those rare baked goodies that is undeniable (meaning you cannot deny the puff--you must eat it).
Okay, one slice of Danish puff is not going to kill me, it will not tear me down, I will persevere. And I did...Wednesday went well and I knew I was getting back to a semi-healthy routine when the extra fiber began kicking in and I started to feel like that little old lady in church who farts each time she stands up or moves.
Thursday morning, protein shake in hand, I headed for the office. Got there, filled my water jug, opened the shake, it smelled like the previously mentioned little old lady, but I am not a food snob, so I enforced my life's philosophy (oh well, fuck it) and chugged it down. (Seriously, it smelled like poo, but considering there are times I would probably eat the ass end of a skunk if you put melted cheese and those crunchy onions on it, I digested it.)
Protein shake gone, feeling pretty good about myself when a client walks in with a half dozen fresh baked cinnamon rolls with cream cheese icing....seriously bitch? Can you not see the poo shake I just drank? I am trying to be good...I lasted all of 20 minutes, because willpower is a foreign word that I do not understand...It was worth it...It was fucking fabulous.
Thinking that, like the Danish puff, one cinnamon roll would not kill me, I went about my day. About 3:30 p.m. another customer walks in bearing an entire dinner for each of us...yes, dinner. An entire box of food...potato salad, coleslaw, prime rib...Seriously, WHAT THE SHIT IS THIS? It's delicious that's what it is...It's goddamned delicious...
But I was not deterred...I got out the stretchiest pants I own, that are not in the sweat or yoga pant family, mixed up yet another poo shake and have thus far managed to avoid friends with food...but it's only 2 p.m....and its a weekend and I have a bottle/gallon of open wine in my refrigerator that has been singing to me all week...one way or another, I will shut that winey bitch up.

Blondies' Random BS

If you decide to follow this blog with any regularity, you will find that I will often have posts that are nothing more than random thoughts....it's like every once in a while my brain needs emptied of all the various shit rolling around in it. Things that I have opinions on or that I think about, yet don't require and entire post, thus the need for Blondie's Random BS.
I am addicted to the sell, swap and trade sites on Facebook. I have made many a purchase and sold numerous things as well, however, I am starting to get really tired of the posts people make and or comment on regarding housing. Here's the deal folks and I will only tell you this once...when you RENT housing, you are simply BORROWING the home, apartment, Duplex, what have you from the owner of said establishment.  I don't give a rat's ass is your five dogs are house trained...they will still make a house smell like dog and there is still room for accidents. I know some 30-year olds who aren't 100% house-trained, there is no guarantee a four legged fur baby is either. Whining and crying that "bad pet owners make it impossible for the rest of us" is a crap argument. You want house pets, get your own home. The OWNER of the property doesn't want you turning the spare room into a litter box and that is his prerogative, seeing as how he paid the mortgage on the damned thing. (DISCLAIMER: I have pets, granted they are not indoor pets, but I am not anti-pet. I am anti people who want everyone else to change in order to fit their needs. You need a place to live, follow the rules of the person who owns the place...plain and simple.)
If you follow me on Pinterest, check out my "Shit I've Tried" board...there are brownies on there called Dang Good Brownies. I need to change the name to Fucking Amazing Brownies...they really are my new favorite and my new go to recipe. They have the perfect combination of chewy-gooey and cakiness....
Damn you auto correct....I want to spell cakiness, not caginess, stop changing it. Auto correct is one of those inventions I could have lived without. I attempted to type the word strange the other day, only my fat thumb must have moved and auto correct changed it to storage...without auto correct people would have understood completely what I meant when I typed strgne hairs versus storage hairs...
I know you are our sister publication and are simply sharing news, but really ANT, your "Friends who have Passed" postings on FB creep me out and are pretty morbid.
You can revoke my badass card anytime now...I recently added a Taylor Swift song and the new Justin Timberlake song to my Spotify...It does however, still play next to my extensive Johnny Cash list, my Nirvana and my penchant for 70's rock...
Brian Urlacher NOT in a Bears uniform will really make me sad...especially since I just got my new Urlacher jersey last fall...

Did you know

donkey basketball may be my new favorite sport? Actually, I think more sports should be played with donkeys...it makes it much easier to see who the real asses are..
Did you know that those who wear head to toe carhartt are actually fashion experts? (At least one thinks that anyway....he said that red jeans are hideous and tall boots are whorish....I just said you're a fucking idiot...)
Did you know that the Karras Loop for RAGBRAI was supposed to go through Audubon County? It was originally set to utilize the T-Bone Trail. It was going to go down the trail from Hamlin to Exira, through Exira east out of town to Ozzy's Corner/The Ridge Road (Pheasant Ave/N36 for those not from these parts) then back north to 44. When the official map came out, the loop has been moved the Shelby County...I will find out the cause behind this. While I was once on the planning committee for an overnight RAGBRAI stay and will never again support an OVERNIGHT stay, pass throughs are wonderful. There are far fewer rules and regulations passed down from the DM Register and your ability to actually make some money improves tremendously when you don't have to pay fees and licenses and worry about housing and showering 10,000 people.
We could have had the opportunity to show thousands of serious bike riders our bike trail. The economic impact that could have been afforded to the businesses along the trail and in the town of Exira was tremendous. Many also thought riders may have decided to take the trail north to visit Audubon. Now, that extra money effort and bike riding time will be spent in Shelby County...BRAVO to those who squashed this....(notice my need for a sarcasm font here) I would not be surprised if a group took a page from Marne's playbook and formed a grassroots effort to show off our trail and the people and businesses along and near it.
Did you know that if you post an item on the FB sell, swap and trades sites, complete with details on the size, price and where you are located, you will get no less than six replies asking for the size, price and location...
Did you know that school is starting on Aug. 14? I remember when school started on Sept. 7....I also remember 99 cent gas and buying a pop and a candy bar for a buck....as I already mentioned I am old.
Did you know that Tim Tebow is getting offers from arena league teams? I have a side ache from the laughter caused by this random tidbit of knowledge...he was NEVER a quarterback!!! He was a glorified fullback...I guess God really wasn't on his team...