Getting to know me

Welcome to Blondie's Barnyard, my little chunk of the internet. I've been asked to start blogging again, so here we go.
Let's start off by getting to know each other. I am a middle aged wife and mother of two. I write for a small town newspaper (meaning I attend a lot of meetings, soup suppers, benefits and community events--the most sensationalized news I get to print is the Sheriff's report). I have a little column, sort of a redneck Erma Bombeck type of thing called "Caution Blonde Thinking" hence the blonde part of the title of this blog. I also am a dyed in the wool, shit on her shoes farm girl--thus the barnyard part, as inevitably there will be a farm story or two on here.
What else should I share? Do you want the Playboy Centerfold version "The movie Beaches still makes me cry. I enjoy long walks on the beach" type shit? Didn't think so...
I am loud, crude, opinionated, I have a potty mouth and frequently drop the F-bomb. The older I get the  more conservative and less tolerant I have become. I have also started to live my life with a philosophy of "Oh Well, Fuck It." I'm like a crotchety old man with a vagina.
I can already see some of you getting your asshairs in a knot thinking "Oh great, we have a red state dwelling, trailer house living, racist, homophobic redneck here...she's conservative and intolerant."
Wrong... although I do live in a red state and I will admit to having a slightly scarlet neck. The more conservative part comes from being a fiscal conservative. I think our government spending is out of control. If I spend more than I have or let some payments slide I get things called overdrafts and phone calls from collection agencies. If I get too far in debt, my bank cuts me off, my credit rating shitcans and I can't even get an Old Navy card...that's how the real world works Washington, and it's time we start figuring that out.
The less tolerant part of me comes from the fact that I cannot tolerate bullshit, drama, pettiness, rampant political correctness and the list continues to grow. I left junior high many moons ago and have no desire to go back, so save your bullshit, your drama and your pettiness for someone who gives a rats ass. And for political correctness? For fuck sakes people. I think some scream "I'm offended" just to get their 15 minutes of fame on the internet or the evening news. I'm sorry, but I don't give a good God damn if you don't celebrate Christmas, I do. So if it's December, I will tell you Merry Christmas. Not Happy Holidays. Not Season's Greetings. Not Blessed Kwanza. If you don't like it, oh well, fuck it. (See how that philosophy works?) I get really tired of having to change beliefs and traditions and the way we do things to satisfy someone else's desires. For shit's sake, can we stop taking ourselves so seriously? These are the kinds of things that make me intolerant.
My philosophy on life? If my hair doesn't do what I want. Oh well, fuck it, it's going in a pony tail or under a hat. If my jeans are a little too tight. Oh well, fuck it, yoga pants it is. I'm not thin enough, pretty enough, drive the right car or wear the right clothes. I drink too much, swear too much, argue too much, Oh well, fuck it, I am who I am, take me or leave me.
That about sums my bio up. I started writing this thinking it would be the red headed step child of my column. (Oh snap, someone's offended now because I used that phrase....please refer to my philosophy on life. And for the record, my son is a red head and he is a good looking kid! I love redheads, it's just a phrase people...simmer down.) I am pretty opinionated and I know a lot of random things, so I have a lot to say. Not all of it can be printed in a small town newspaper across from the Red Hat Ladies luncheon and behind the obituaries. If I dropped an F-bomb in my column or called someone a douchenozzle, the Red Hat Ladies would get THEIR asshairs in a knot.
I hope to entertain you, and I probably will offend someone every now and again. Sorry. Don't take it personally, its an opinion and it's mine. I will probably tell a story about living on the farm once in a while. I will bitch about things in the news and about pop culture. I may share something I've tried on Pinterest now and again and I may give advice. I hope you'll keep reading and maybe share it with a friend or two. If not....I will simply live by my philosophy. (See how easy that is?)
Come back and visit again sometime.