Fleas...

I'm afraid I have them again, because I am a scratching away at this ol head of mine....here are a few reasons I've "got my itch on" again...
A TA at the University of Iowa is in hot water for "accidentally" sending nude pictures of herself to her students when she was supposed to be e-mailing them homework...I'm sorry, what? How in the fuck do you mistake today's assignment for a shot of your pooty-poo? "Oops, sorry guys...I was supposed to send you the file called Great TITLES, not Great TITTIES...my bad."
Here's another...dateline Bumfuck Connecticut, Mom and Dad go out of town for Columbus Day weekend leaving 15 and 16 year old daughters home alone...the parents decide to come home on Sunday instead of Monday, in the middle of the girls THIRD party of the weekend. They called the cops. BRAVO to the parents. What has me scratching my head is the dreaded comment section trolls...I'm sorry, but one minute you lambast parents over not parenting and NOW, when parents try to teach their children a tough lesson in life (mainly that there are consequences to acting like a douche) you call them lazy and say it was a "horrible decision, the girls could end up in foster care and it could ruin their chances of getting into college because mom and dad didn't want to parent, they preferred to waste taxpayer dollars." Excuse me? What? I would imagine that ground rules were laid down and when the parents found out that the party they busted was not the first, nor the second, but the THIRD one of the weekend, they did what any parent would do..lost their shit..it just so happens that the lost shit included a phone call to the po-po...Bottom line...doubt Drunky-Drunkerton and her little sister will throw another three day kegger, which was kind of mom and dad's point, wasn't it?
Zombies...seriously...get the fuck over zombies....AIN'T HAPPENING!!!!

And finally, anyone who claims to not be a fan of Bon Jovi....you are an asshat with no taste and you seriously make me scratch my head at the thought of not being a fan...I mean, really, Ethel...did you see that ass? (LOL...just found out there is a blog dedicated to his ass...I just became a fan) But really...how can you not be a fan of this....

GAAAAAAH!

As I said yesterday on FB I don't normally quote song lyrics, but "The Rodeo Song" is appropriate to quote on any occasion..."Piss me off, fucking jerk, you get on my nerves," can be said at anytime, especially today.

I've said time and again that I really need to stay off of the "comment" section, but it's like crack....I just can't stop. Today I was treated to an especially kind troll who called me a Republican Terrorist because I thought it funny that Bruce Braley was whining about lack of towel service and that he "had to do his own laundry" when going to the gym that he pays a membership fee to. I added that BOTH political parties were a joke and were broken....hmmm, yeah, that automatically means I'm a republican terrorist..(insert Rodeo Song lyric). Look assclown, while it's true I tend to lean Republican when voting, when one says BOTH parties are to blame how is that leaning toward one side or the other? Also, its doesn't matter if Rep. Braley was taken out of context, saying the phrase, "We don't have towel service and I am doing my own laundry" is a preposterous statement to make in ANY context while the government is shut down. The bipartisan toddler-like antics that are perpetuated by assclowns who call total strangers "republican terrorists" is what's wrong with today's political climate. 

I do NOT agree with everything Republican and I do NOT agree with everything Democrat...if that makes me a terrorist, so be it. I am against the concept that everyone is entitled to the same slice of pie, no matter their work ethic or lack of it. I am against more government. I am against spending more and more and more no matter what. If that equals me being a terrorist, label away you (insert song lyric).

Phew...now that I've gotten that off my chest, please excuse my while I load my water bottle with gin and pause for a cigarette, I may need one after that.

Ok..now for what pissed me off first thing this morning, the dad of the 9-year old stowaway who boarded a plane to Las Vegas without a ticket or a boarding pass, after repeatedly sneaking into water parks, stealing and crashing a truck, all while on out of school suspension for fighting. NINE YEARS OLD...I am thinking Miss Jaci who loves kittens and cartwheels and dance class...she is nine years old. Dad was on national tv this morning begging for help, while wrapped in a hoodie with a hat covering his face and a "family spokesperson" doing most of the speaking for him, as he was begging for help. As I've stated, let me offer this piece of advice, "Insert your foot into his ass and repeat as necessary." He claims that the child was taking out the trash or supposed to be at a friend's house...here's what's wrong with this picture. If my NINE year old is suspended for fighting, or for any reason, for that matter...there is no "friend's house" there is MY constant supervision. I would handcuff the little shit to my side, where I went, he went...if I had to shit, he could wipe my ass. While I do know that there are diagnoses like "oppositional defiance disorder" in my opinion, some of this behavior is learned and it's learned because mom and dad were constantly looking the other way. I'm sure somewhere in Dad's statement was something about "the system failing" perhaps they system has failed, but you know what Dad? So have you; take off your hoodie, own up to the problem and then, maybe your plea for help would be legitimized. (Again, I think we can insert "The Rodeo Song" lyric here....now excuse me while I refill my gin.

I'm offended

this is a shoot off from yesterday's FB rant..because seriously, I'm offended by everyone getting offended. Perhaps I have entitlement issues. Perhaps I just don't care, either way, ya'll are starting to piss me the fuck off with your whining.
While it's true, I've never been (to my knowledge anyway) discriminated against. I am white, middle class, and Iowan....there's not much to discriminate there...so its true that I don't know what discrimination feels like, but I'm pretty sure, I wouldn't get my panties in a wad over the name of a football team. (i.e. the fight to change the name of the Washington Redskins is rearing its head again...and let me guess the poor, discriminated, humiliated one leading the charge is probably 1/17th percent tribal?)
But, the more I think about the outrage, maybe I should get pissed. Damn you Minnesota, how dare you name your team the Vikings? I am of Danish descent, the Vikings were most definitely Danish. They delighted in pillaging, raping and bashing the skulls of their enemies in with rocks. What outlandish and immoral behavior. How dare you glorify their criminal actions and use a dark time in my ancestry's past to your benefit? And you, Green Bay Packers..I am offended by the sexual nature of your team name...the Packers? Really, pray tell who are you packing? And to the USC Trojans...honestly, I am offended that your team is named after a condom. (Do you see how ridiculous this sounds?) Its a freaking name of a football team that honestly, I doubt that anyone really gives two thoughts about the meaning behind. Rename them the Honkeys or the Whiteys and I wouldn't give a shit less. Hell, call them the Wheelers, after all, no one knows what a Wheeler really is....
The government is shut down, there are military families who are not getting death benefits owed to them, there are senior citizens not getting social security, children who are going hungry, healthcare is in shambles and we are about to be OWNED by China because we are going to default on our loans and you want to piss and moan about the name of a football team because, you're offended....well guess what? THAT offends me.
I am getting goddamned sick and tired of our watered down, wishy washy, outraged over everything, ban this, change the name of that, milquetoast society we are living in. I am Christian so I am going to tell you Merry Christmas..I celebrate Christmas, as in the birth of Christ...I don't give a shit what you celebrate and I won't tell you Happy Holidays. If that offends you...suck it Trebek.
I celebrate Halloween, it is a fun, frivolous, candy and booze filled event (depending on the age of the reveler). I don not celebrate "fall" or "Harvest." Just because I say Happy Halloween, that does not mean I worship Satan or practice Wiccan. To say Happy Halloween to a child will not cause irreparable damage, nor will having a Halloween party and if you don't like that, let me introduce you to my middle finger.
I am sick to death of protests and bans and "change this or else." Don't we have bigger things to worry about? Pull the panties out of your asscrack and calm the fuck down...

Damn people

I really do try not to be a heartless bitch, but sometimes, karma gives me the ammunition to be one. And once again, if you agree with the label, so be it, sorry.
I think by now we all know the story of Kathyln Shephard and her friend Dezi, who were kidnapped last summer. Kathlyn was murdered, Dezi escaped. I cannot fathom what young Dezi went through, what she is still coping with and what she will face as she continues to grow up. However, her tragedy does not exempt her from following rules.
Let me explain, Dezi is on the volleyball team and her therapist encourages the sport and her participation is actually considered part of her therapy. Terrific, being involved in a team sport is wonderful and I applaud her, her family and her therapist. Being a part of the volleyball team, she is expected to dress up on game days. Well guess what? This week, she decided not to and was benched. Mom cried foul (calling WHo-TV, CNN and the Today Show) and proceeded to proclaim that the treatment was unfair and that participating is part of her therapy. This is where my bitch comes in....if the team rules are that she dress up on game day and she chooses not to, she knows she's violating the rules and has to face the consequences, in this case, sit out a game. Other players chose not to dress up and also had to sit out.
Regardless of what you think of a "dress-up" policy, it is in place and it was ignored. Damn that coach for actually following through on something. (Need for sarcasm font.)
When I saw the story, at first I thought, "give the kid a break" but then when she said, "I think the rule is dumb" to me that was an admission of, "I don't like the rule, I don't want to follow it." I also thought for a few minutes, that with it being the first of October, this was probably not the first volleyball game of the year, meaning she has followed the rule before and simply chose not to this time.
Sorry hon, I understand you've been through hell and back, BUT, rules are rules, and whether you think they are "dumb" or not...they are meant to be followed and if you don't there are consequences. Athletic shorts, a camo hoodie and cowgirl boots, are not considered, "dress clothes" by anyones estimation.
We had to dress up on game days. My son's wrestling team is still "encouraged" although not required to dress up. (I think it should be required) I, personally, think its great to see a team dressed up as they enter or leave the locker room. I, personally, hate the sweatpants craze that resides in high schools today. (For shit sake, does it really take that much more effort to button and zip a pair of jeans than it does to throw on those "love pink" sweat pants?) Look better, feel better, perform better...its a theory I don't always practice (and despised when implemented at my dj job, where I sat in a sound-proof box and no one saw me), however, I do see the merit in it.
While again, my heart aches thinking of what she endured, accountability has to start somewhere and its a bitch of a lesson to learn. I have much more of a problem with the mother making this a news story than I do with the school standing behind the coach that enforced the policy. If that makes me a heartless bitch...I'll wear that hat today.