It's never too late

We've all heard the term you can't teach an old dog new tricks...not so! Cuz this old bitch has learned a few things lately! I feel it is my civic duty to share my new found knowledge with you.
Recently I've learned the following things:
When doing strenuous activity, you may feel a tingling in your appendages..don't be overly concerned, UNTIL your chin starts tingling. If your chin is tingling, hope for something soft because bitch, you're bout to pass out....
If someone wants you to try tabata...do NOT, I repeat do NOT confuse it with ciabatta. Ciabatta is a delightfully crusty bread that makes a fabulous base for a sandwich made with rare roast beef and horseradish sauce. IF asked to try tabata, run. I mean stride your mother fucking legs out like a serial killer dressed in a clown suit is chasing you because THAT scenario is less threatening and less evil than tabata. I swear Kim Jong Il created tabata and uses it only when the pack of wild dogs fail to kill his enemies.
APPARENTLY, there is a wrong way to perform an execution. I was unaware of this. Raping, kidnapping, murdering, thieving son of a bitch is dead, albeit in a lengthier more painful way than anticipated...call me crazy but I don't think that I would call that "botched."
While I'm sure there are a few other nuggets of knowledge I have gleaned lately..I can't for the life of me think of them because my arms hurt too bad to continue typing and my chin is beginning to tingle. Dave should feel lucky that we could no longer pick up our dumbbells, otherwise we may have pelted him with them...Til next time

BB

Profuse apologies

I'm feeling quite plucky today and I think I know why...

Actually, it probably has less to do with hunger and more to do with the fact that my ass was up at 4:30 this morning to send DH off in the semi-truck and then be at Boot Camp by 5:30. (Although there is a bowl of monster cookie dip that I have been thinking of just eating by the spoonful in our office refrigerator... it has been calling to me, so far I have been able to tell it to shut the fuck up...however, if you find me sitting on the floor licking the bowl clean, don't be surprised.)

So anywho..as I've previously mentioned I have been doing some exercising...this week in addition to my three days a week with my girls and our trainer, I have added boot camp...it's at 5 fucking thirty in the morning, which is a ridiculous time of the day...I am not a morning person...at all...whatsoever...

(That's for you Sam...more proof that I have an e-card for everything.)

My puckishness, or bitchiness if you'd rather, comes from the interruption of my relationship with my mattress and my pillow, and if I offended you...tough shit...I mean, I'm sorry. 

I've already addressed Cameron Diaz..now for the remainder of the people/things/stories that have gotten my asshairs all knotty today.

To the lady commenting on the story about a girl with an eating disorder that made her unable/unwilling to drink water.. You not being able to stomach Velveeta, not liking chicken, other than chicken nuggets, your refusal to eat cheese other than mozzarella, and the fact that you love french fries, but can do without potato chips does not mean you have an eating disorder..it means you're a picky fucking eater.

To PETA...you people really are fucking delusional aren't you? You are asking permission to erect (God I chuckle like a 12 year old boy when I use that word) a 10 foot tall memorial to the 500 turkeys who perished in a semi-truck accident near Sioux City? Are you fucking serious? Wow....this after your plan to turn Jeffery Dahmer's former home into a vegan restaurant, solidifies the fact that you are indeed an organization filled with fucktards.

Courtney Cox...you dried up fun hater....a Friends reunion would have been awesome. Would it have killed you to make millions of fans happy?

(Sigh....) I'm sure I'll be even more irritable later in the day...I may be back because